the ever applicable, versitile shiny object.

with the arrival of a many things that just tick you off. there is usually the one that could put you over the edge, or back on safe ground. i am writing this blog post at 1 06am on the behalf of those who do read my blog. a fair warning for the things to come ahead.. i am listening to mood inducing music right now.. and have no planned topics or structure to this post. the result is anything from a short post ending now. or a long ranting post to everything in between. something that i did want to mention before going on an unstoppable force of typos and sentance fragments and run-ons.. is a wish of a happy birthday to part one of five in the cinco de amigos. tyler allendar.

we met last year.. and please excuse any faulty memories.. i have been known to modify them. spanish class in freshman year was an over all class where more than the respective subject was taught. to my right sat kim que. to my left sat tyler. we were asked to find a group of people to work with on a project and at the time.. my lucky self just moved to a new state and did not know of anyone. in all of the other classes that day so far.. each one had asked of a similar group "learn more about each other" kind of activity. those were less than agreeable to what i was hoping for. but as i looked around for something new to happen my eyes met the two people sitting next to me. one at a time i saw some signals being thrown around between the two people with me right in the middle. kim was the first to speak. i agreed to her question with a yes and from that point on.. we were a rag tag group of friends in the making.

with old myspace comments and saved im conversations as my witness, the first month of my first florida school year went mostly without a hitch. as time went on. i changed and evolved with the slightest of differences. at this time i was still determined to make my relationship with anna work out. long distance in high school just did not work out for me. but before i realized that, i never had a reason to see otherwise. we talked every day, and not with instant messages or any sort of mail. but real talking. to hear the voice of someone you trust so deeply as that is something i can honestly say kept me from going day to day without a smile on my face and hope in my heart. dispite what i wanted to happen.. something i was warned of eventually came to be, we grew apart. her high school life, was just that. her life. and i wasnt apart of it. our conversations grew shorter and shorter and with less meaning in the entire conversation than a single word in our past discussions. for what seemed like ages, i could only see her come online and hope to God that something would carry on. thoughts would drift and i would wonder what fueled our past talks. i would spend hours on my bedroom floor, pitch black with my microphone at hand and google talk running only a foot away. why werent we like this any more? what happened? i can also say quite honestly that i did find out. on december 16, 2006, she broke up with me. the conversation following the break up is something i was laughing about and at her request iss till left unheard of. i was happier that day, minutes after than a week before because of what was realized. the fact that we were in a offical relationship caused the tension between us. i lost my first and only girlfriend (so far) that day.. but gained a renewed friendship which still holds strong to this very day.

the song i am currently listenign to a few of you may know. panchelbel's canon in d. i was first shown this song a time after i saw the movie "my sassy girl" an amazing korean film where the song was redone and used in. at first it was filed among the ranks but a day not unlike this one (which is quite of the norm) i sat down at my computer, turned the volume up, shut off my moniter and just listened to the song in the pitch black. the mp3 that i have is only five minutes and twenty two seconds long. the time it took to finish the song felt like my lifetime. happy memories of the life that has already been lived lingered in my mind. i have never felt more at peave or safe that in the moment where i am so lost in the music that i even forgot where i was or the amount of time going past.

in a few hours (1 51am) a day just like today, a normal day, will start. i will wake up, go to school, finish periods one to seven, practice the lighting for the upcoming show on thursday, come home, eventually do my homework, eat dinner, normal online activities, not forget to post up pictures for that day's post, blog of the days events and sleep. the only thing i ever look forward to in a normal day is.. the people. my family that i help wake up, or that help me wake up. students that i see on my way to school. my friends in periods one to seven. the classmates and teachers i work with after school. my dad that drives me home. my mom that cooks food everyday for me. the friends and family i talk to online. my readers that enjoy my blog. and the people that help me go to sleep at night. (homework excluded, no one likes homework)

the previous section was to let everyone know, that no matter how numerous the times i do or say something. or no matter how little i do or say anything.. that.. you are important. (anyone up for more corn..-iness) also it was to complete my future section of this blog post. each paragraph or section in part of the master layout of.. introduction, past, present, future, conclusion. see i can say something with meaning once in a while. even if it is uninteresting and without pictures sometimes.

p.s. www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AXPnH0C9UA funny stuff that eilene sent me.
i also have the mp3 if anyone wants it.. its wicked tiny and converted from youtube .flv video to .mp3 file using zamzar.
p.p.s. (2 08am) yeah my brain is going to kill me tomorrow.. literary.. and after its done beating me in the face for staying up this long.. and making a post for an hour.. it will tell me to stop listening to such girly music. (see playlist in previous post)