minute details.

so for the first post that i did miss. i had a list of things that i wanted to list out and talk about. but i got pissed and fell alseep before getting to the blog post. the next day i was drowsy and laying on my bed. i computer was there and i just didnt think that the post that day was worth it. i was planning to write in it.. just a little paragraph but never got to do that. and now it is thursday and the days of this week have gone by too slowly. perhaps a good poetic line would fit well that would describe how i feel about wasting time and the guilt i get from actually doing the wasting. but maybe an explaination of the intended line will suffice?

at this point i might seem a bit crazy in my thoughts and words. i accidentally used the undo function in this blogger post. by coincidence it also does not allow me to use the redo function. and with the small little things everywhere that have come up and stopped me from blogging from a few minutes to a day or two, i am begining to think that something does not want me to blog. but here i am, blogging away. my entire paragraph on tuesday was deleted by the above error and all that was mentioned was of my still unfinished homework (history essay, english work). actually now that i think of it.. that is all i wrote of that day. at fifth period i was shown something that i do want to be enthusiastic about. the congressional award. i will not go through was it requires and the things i are testing my nerves about it. but what i will say.. is that is it an extra chance for me to get out of florida for my college. my logic goes as follows: if i get a metal from congress.. other schools will want me. my logic also falls short because if other colleges want me.. then the ones that i am getting all this support from florida to go to.. will also be more appealing to the side of expenses. on tuesday i also wanted to talk about the story that i am planning to write with a few of my friends the group of people that we have deemed as "cinco de amigos" ! i want some progression going on if everyone says it is a go. alex is hard to get a hold of online. that really sucks. after school i went biking and roller blading. roller blading on a bumpy surface will kill your feet. it sure as heck did mine. i could only roller blade on one street in the area. eventually i got tired and went home. over the past days i have also been reading manga online. i finished dears, and working on pastel.

this day today will go unnoticed by many because at the moment my brain refuses to give me access to these memories. all i remember is going outside to take a few more pictures. im slowing running out of subjects. ill have to upload those later. also among the days i was missing.. i played chess with billy. not a good game for me. and the second time we played.. it was a speed round.. and i was around two seconds away from clicking the final move... but i lost. it was so close to the timer that at the end of the game billy even thought that i won.

i remember the last time that i mentioned a girlfriend possiblity.. that my older sister pearline made a funny protective comment on it. and while talking to anna.. i came up with.. something that i hope makes more sense than the poo above here. i had asked her.. about me getting a girlfriend and how i do or did like someone but they were more or less emotionally taken. and while cleverly leading me.. i said.. that even if i want it. i wont get it unless i take a step foward. but that i am taking too many steps forward right now with other things. and if i do that, take too many steps that is.. then i'll trip and fall. so there is not anyone right now. but i'll just go with the flow for now.. and when i do get solid footing then i'll think about it.

pearline is coming on saterday!
from the fifthteenth to the twenty-third. oh man, i wish i was not in school or busy at all. i have tsa stuff to do while on my free time with her here. which makes me sad.