i'm yours.

i think that the reason that i have not blogged since may fifthteenth, is that in light of my hundredth post i wanted to grace it with importance. i was looking for the cure-all of events, the olive branch in my sea of life. i knew i could be naive, but really.. could such a thing exist? that would solve all your problems, and leave you perfect without an ounce of a work done? i really dont know. it would be logical to assume that nothing that great could be part of this world. but it would also be quixotic to think that if i put my best foot forward. id be repayed with an easy life.

i came into this post thinking that maybe if i just started typing maybe something that would make sense would come out of it. i was never really a good judge of that. where i am right now, as in mentally and not physically, is somewhere familiar. a while ago, i woke up to a dream that left a smile on my face. obviously a good one.. what it was about was my first day of school, freshman year. two years ago i moved away from the home i knew of my entire life. 17 washington street, malden massachusetts if you will. and moved into something i wanted to hate with all my heart and mind. i didnt know what was ahead of me, not at all. and in my dream.. it was a sort of total opposite of this. even though it was a new world.. it was a world i had already visited. and everyone else around me was oblivious to the future, which was something i had already done. some small details filled that day. and looking back on it.. that great dream of mine shows probably one of my greatest fears, the fear of the unknown.

a few days away from the anniversary of my moving away. july 1st. i am getting ready to go off once again that fateful day. this time im not moving, but it is out of state. july 1st, is when im taking a plane ride to califorina for my oldest brother's wedding reception. and even though its not the biggest step ill take.. ill even be back on the 5th.. its a grim reminder of all the steps i never took.

yesterday i had planed to make a sort of "failing" list. were anything i failed at, id put it in a huge list of things of other failings. ironically the list itself would have to be on that list. because i never made it. i get a few daily reminders on the list though. my guitar is by my doorway.. the scarlett letter is on the guest room bed.. and a small pile of laundry is right next to my sink. the list would have had an exponentially large number of elements.. and the reason i keep giving myself for not working on the list is that the stuff always just falls through the cracks.

and just to get it out there, i might make this part hidden later.. my love life consists of me being single.. with one main subject of interest. one new crush. (very small, im probably just jealous of her a bit) and a few persons famous and not, that just serve as eye candy. at this point im even questioning why i seek after any of this. within the past week, i had a moment where i think i might have perfectly described it, but i am at a bit lost for words now. when you have someone to focus on, the rest of the world becomes a little bit fuzzy, and you get a chance to have a sense of true safety and peace. im not even sure of that now, since its been quite the long while since ive felt that way. i honestly dont think that anyone i do have an interest can give me that. so why do i bother? a part of me thinks because they serve as a sort of distraction, another thinks that maybe by staying this way something will fall in my lap sooner or later. the last part of me thinks the other two are idiots. and hopes that they are wrong about it all, since from an outside perspective it all looks kinda childish. but i end up asking myself. "if it doesnt mean something.. then why bother?" oh wells. this is one of the bigger failed items on that previous list.

in terms of summer. its a great time of the year, of relaxing and most importantly of a bit of freedom. ive been relaxing, and even felt a great sense of freedom from the academic obligations of the year.. but i feel the time being wasted and not spent. its not a unique situation, and i even feel like im putting the blame on the situation more than on me.. but when my parents go to work. monday to friday, i cant go anywhere. if anything is planned it must be planned ahead of time. and not the day before. and i havent any easy means of transportation (another item on the failed list. getting my permit)

so instead of the original purpose of the post (which i had deemed almost a month ago) to be the post that proclaims some sort of milestone of my life. its become a post that denies that there ever should have been such nope for a post. and just to live out life for its duration, and to be able to look back on it, and see something of it.

ummm.. happy hundredth post?

tangled up in me.

so linux was sucessful! i am now dual-booting windows xp and xubuntu! the install last night took much longer than i thought. in fact.. i fell asleep before it finish. it was ninety-four percent last time i saw it. and that waiting time, quite well worth it. no major differences, just a change in programs, and major use of the command line. i love the workspaces that linux uses. (i use a total of four, default two) they are basically separate desktops.. as if you had four different monitors lined up, and each connected to the same computer. in one screen instant messages, in another an overdue project, and in one more a paused movie. and the poor forth one is fine just sitting there without windows in it. so its cool for organizing and just a very good concept. i also enabled the feature that if i moved my mouse to the edge of my screen that it would change to the adjacent workspace. which saves me so much time instead of clicking the stuff at the bottom of the screen. and with that major good point (along with speed) is a bad point. somehow.. the only screen resolutions in my options is.. 640x480 and 800x600. which absolutely sucks, because i normally use 1280x1024 and everything on my screen is so huge now. (i am sure lauren would like this resolution..) but i am working on this problem right now.. because it is not suppose to be like that. but lots of confusing directions.

http://www.ubuntu.com/
http://www.xubuntu.org/

soo today, i thought i had lots of free time.. but i grossly miscalculated and.. its almost one o' clock. i will not be posting my one-hundredth post tomorrow. in fact.. my one-hundreth post will only come after significant change!

today is ninety-ninth post.

beware of shallow waters.

hardly interestingly uninteresting.. my day started off normal and is ending normal too. i am posting after all my work is done, which only consisted of.. studying for history test. amazing! everything else i either do not need to do at the moment or did in school. huzzah!

so when i got home from school.. nick's little brother was online and asked to play a game of poker. we did, and i lost and found out that he really sucks at winning. oh well, hopefully we all learn to grow out of that.. then took a shower.. and from then.. till i went to sleep.. i do not remember what happened. but when i did wake up the only abnormal subjects i can cover.. is my studying of history through my amazing friend rachael's quizlet (she's amazing for other reasons but i did want to formally thank her for her help) and studying along with tyler's help. and another subject is my cleaning (deleting gigabytes of data) and defragging my computer so that i can... get linux! uber cool and since for some of my readers it will be hard to understand.. but anyways.. in the new version that came out recently.. they included "wubi" which lets me install it without getting rid of windows or dual booting. (which takes too much time and is risky) so i cleaned up some space for it and am about to do that right now.. hopefully it will work...

ninety-eighth post.

circles.

way too late to even think about posting.. i went to sleep last night around.. one-ish. i am about to leave for school with only two minutes until i have to leave. but i did want to get a post in. almost as a penance to my viewers.

most of the day was occupied by other work. and since i have not the time to cover anything.. i will get in just this few bits.

my brother called at 12:30 (thankfully i was still awake) and told me of some bad news. all in central florida they had wildfires, and when he saw that he called me up to see if i was alright.

also my two drama projects..
will be shown later...

--EDIT

too easy.

so this intended post. was to be made last night.. but whilst coming up with ideas to write about.. those ideas, became my dreams. but now that i am wake this fine mother's day morning, i wish to post to cover up the past few days. now.. my memory has been particularly bad these past few weeks. normally when recalling a day. i could easily start from when i woke up, to the moment before i started typing the very same post. where this ability has gone.. i have not a clue. perhaps it is of my own fault. caring less and less of the blog itself. and more and more of nothing else. and merely becoming a sort of pit. now usually people do not want to become pits of any sort. and this holds true to me. i really want to better myself. but do not know how to go about it. i feel hypocritical when i find myself waiting for the summer, thinking that a huge change will occur. but i know that when the first day of summer comes rolling out.. i will be in bed.. just as lazy and stupid as before, if i do not do anything about it. now that's that. and on to the daily events.

the very first day that i intended to write a blog but that plan fell through.. i had already written out an outline of what i wanted to cover that post. and i shall hopefully do it justice. sooo, i had my first tsa meeting since states, and mr. norman did not make finalist for teacher of the year, which means my adviser can stay a teacher at treasure coast high school, and bring people to nationals and continue tsa next year. also we will be having an end of the year party for tsa. $10 unlimited food. too bad it is at a mets game.
also in light of mother's day.. i guess it is more appropriate to say now.. that i have learned so much from my mom, and she gives more than she takes 100 fold. she taught me a valuable lesson and i hope i never forget it when i am in need.
i failed my history quiz.. 68.
eilene has finished her ib exam! this year she took chemistry ii, and on thursday and friday she took the exam (kinda like ap test) and will find out the results later.
i have not played the xbox in the longest while.. and because of that i plugged it in and played it for about two minutes...

and skip a few days..
now yesterday!
i woke up.. ate some lunch (skipped breakfast) and had to clean up my room and house.. because.. my grandma is coming to visit! along with some aunts and uncles too. they should be coming here next friday, so the clean up time is this weekend. my room look better than it did before. but still.... not so good. i downloaded and watched sweeney todd yesterday and although a good movie.. not of my tastes.. then after a few normal-ish events around the later part of the night i was looking for a new wallpaper at.. http://wwww.socwall.com/ and got... this..
yup tis the hotness of hayden panettiere!
and and, even took part in another game of poker with my best buds..

by the end of it all, the game was really quick. and before i fell asleep, i was talking to anna. and just to her. i hope we can both change. for the better.

faded.

sooo. i missed yesterday's post. just totally forgot about it. and i have not the time to go over today's events.. for i am still working. but i have little left.. kinda. so i am off once again.. never to remember this day. and all it's glory.

i think im home. i close my eyes, but i just dont know.

"no" + "place"

i have exactly three songs on my playlist set on repeat.
currently playing: Hikaru Utada-Simple And Clean.
first on list: Vitamin C-Graduation Song.
the third song? Rammstein-Du Hast.

and with these three songs i am going to write my history essay. but i am going to write it in blog form.. to see if i have a different creative writing style when i blog as apposed to when i write essays.

as of write now, i am trying to compile what i think a utopia is. and what it needs to accomplish. for one.. it needs to be able to take care of food, living space, and social structure. (in order of what i think is more complex) while keeping in mind that.. one. a utopia is not possible in our state and condition. (the project required that it be logical enough to be realistic to a certain degree. "dont nuke the planet") and two. that the three are interconnected to each other.. so i will not be strictly forming one at a time.

food for the utopia, obviously needs to feed the population. too much, and value and need change. and too little and people starve. the food would be used as a bartering tool if the food production had been over produced. which would also cause unbalance. and a way to go about controlling the food production. is to isolate the viable growing areas. (artificial or natural)

okay! so after that last paragraph.. i downloaded "notepad++" and just made an outline and dropped the idea of writing the blog first.
if you wanna see the incomplete outline. check it out here..
http://kenshinjr92.googlepages.com/utopiaoutline.txt

i do not know if this will be a double post.. i do not have the time to write so much..

from ashes.

today was kinda interesting. for one thing.. it is 4 05am sunday right now. and i am stay wide awake. otherwise i would on any other days be totally knocked out.

today eilene woke up early to get ready to take the sat's and she told me that she did already for them, but did not mention any details as to not jinx them. but i woke up at 11 00am with my throat totally killing me, with coughs and the overall inability to sounds audible in my speech. (very scratchy and frog-like)

throughout the day it has gotten better until recently since my voice gets very coarse at night. since yesterday and today.. i have been reading this e-book on hypnosis and it is something obviously to be skeptical about for all you people that think i am actually trying to learn it. but the book itself is a good read.. and so far has kept me interested. so as of now.. i am on page 61 of 179.

one of the two reasons that i am up right now is that for eilene's biology lab.. she is measuring how caffeine affects heartbeats per minute. and i was one of the test subjects. so i had lots of soda with caffeine to drink, which i do not normally have.
the second reason for my being awake is that i was talking to my friend matt (who's birthday was shared with my brother) and just talking to him for a while kept me up. it has taken me the longest time to convince him to get firefox. even now.. he uses a firefox theme to make it look like internet explorer.

also during that chat i had with matt. i took part in a good ol' game of gunbound with my friend.. billy! i havent had the time to get a good conversation in with him but we were able to at least acknowledge each other. and tried out the new gunbound. they totally introduced a new style of game. i wish i got the hang of it before.. i really sucked during the games i played with billy. poor billy.. i was on his team the entire time..

but some of the things that i did not do today was...!
my history essay
my laundry
read any blogs
or
clean my room.

broken again.

i swear, i am trying to make this my last crappy post in this post ridden slum of a blog. i do not think i will ever get to talking about how cool tsa was. or many other hidden messages. hopefully more videos and pictures will come soon.

today... was the award ceremony. i got high honors for my 4.0 grade point average this year. plus i got student of the year award for drama ii. i got one last year for geometry..

also i went to relay for life. it is from what i understand a fundraiser where teams set up booths to raise money. and always have someone on the track. kinda vague but i did see a lot of people i knew. one of which i never thought i would ever see again. i got a ride from nick's dad and eilene originally put the idea of me going.. because she is in beta club.. which had a booth there. lpa and lpa beta club were doing a sort of birthday theme which allowed me to have a silly birthday hat on for a few hours.
i think we arrived at 5 14pm ish or somewhere around that.. and me and eilene had to leave at 8 00pm ish. because eilene has to take the "sat" tests. which she will rock on!

my brother's birthday is today! i wish him a really good birthday, at least a celebration of his birthday in all his awesomeness. he is currently moving and his away message said that today was moving day #2.

also matt sordello, norma, nick's gradma, brandon, brandon's grandama's birthdays today.

wicked late.

before i could blog last night i was sleeping. i left my computer on by accident.. shame on me..

so today was the first of may. and as i am posting.. technically the second of may..
school has been the same ol', same ol' school for the past week or so.

but some things that were a bit different were...
in chemistry.. we learned how to mix.. salt.. and water.
and in drama.. my teacher is away at states for drama competitions with all his students.

i also did the lights for the band concert.. i liked the 7th grade music. funny songs...

more homeeeeework?

wow, this is another week of dead posts. i did not ever remember to make a post yesterday and right now i am having a quick post just to have one in here to make sure people know i am not dead. i still have homework to do. so this is it for the post.

on a quick side note though... "every club i join.. dies!!"

anime club, literary club, gsa, a-team, and many more to come.

and i lied again.

last night i did intend to explain the majority of my trip.. but.. i was up pretty late last night. and really wanted to go to sleep afterward. tonight my post will also be very short. i apologize to anyone i was suppose to talk to today. but when i got home. i was totally knocked out. my body hurt from head to toe. and my throat did not let me swallow anything. and my head felt like someone's hand was phasing into it and shaking it around.

okay so i lied.

i did have internet while at the florida hotel for my "florida tsa 2008 state conference." but i was too busy enjoying it to blog. also as the days went by, they kinda got slurred together.. so i can not exactly piece them together like i want. but if i have to say anything. it would be that it was a hundred times over an experience that i can not describe with text. but.. it was WICKED AWESOME.

so first off i'll lay down a few facts.
i was in a room with anthony (screech), and frank.

we stayed at the flordia hotel which is connected to the florida mall. (creative names eh?)

i was a finalist and got a finalist pin for each event i entered in. tech bowl - flight endurance - system control tech - manufacturing prototype.

my voice is wicked scratchy because of all the yelling for treasure coasts winning students at the award ceremony.

andd!

kim is our tsa president, and she kicked much ass at the competition.. helping win first place in spirit, placing in cyberspace pursuit, and getting FIRST! in digital imaging technology! and and.. if anywho wishes to mess with her. they will have their ass kicked too, by much more than me.. but also her many loyal followers and friends.


this is it for now.. today might be the first double post for me...

TSA HOW DO YOU FEEL?!

post 00089.

weeeeee! i am done with building my plane! huzzah! it is 4 28am! and i finished it at 3 00am! but had to clean up! and move stuff around! and check blogs! i will not remember what happened today at all.. soo! hence the "lost day!" because no one will ever fully know the events of this very day...

good night!

faster! faster! oh wait. too fast.

it is now, 9 27am the nineteenth of april. a day into the future according the time stamp. but i did want to recap yesterday's events.

it all started with... not being late for the bus. i went through my day totally normal. except nick was not in school.. he was up late for track (which he did quite well in) and probably did not want to go to school. (tell me if i am off on this) since good ol' nick was not in school, i was bored during chemistry class when i finished all the work i needed twenty or so minutes before class got out. so instead i read "a midsummer night's dream" for english. good play so far, and i hear it only gets better as the story progresses. and the normal day continued up to and including talking to stefanie in seventh period.

at home i really needed to get back to work on my plane for tsa which is in less that a week.. and that still did not work out so well.. i went about doing my normal online activities. (which has been officially labeled as "check blogs, deviantart, facebook(if time allows), gmail, lifehacker, and demonoid shoppin'..") which takes about an hour. so it is four o' clock and only an hour left till i go to tsa early to help kim with her picture and help myself with the plane there too.. but i decide i need a shower. and including the time it takes me to actually get into the shower, shower with face wash, body wash, and shampoo, plus drying off. i had only half hour till tsa at 5 00pm. i did take out my plane stuffs, but only to get ready to leave.

when i got to treasure coast high school (where tsa is located) me and eilene were the first people there. i set up and worked on my plane till... kim arrived! before the actual meeting i helped kim shoot the "omg, proposal" picture. which i how i can get my hands on to show you guys. at the meeting we discussed all the important info that the parents needed (parent meeting by the way) such as who is driving with who, location, rules, food situation (we raised 600 dollars exactly over last weekend for food), and times of departure and arrival both ways. then i countinued to work on the plane till at 8 00pm when tsa was over.

we headed to a chinese buffet after tsa, and i ate a bit over my limit. no unfortunate consequences. the food was normal for a chinese buffet and when we got home, i wanted to rest a bit before working on my plane again.. but fell asleep till this morning when i woke up at 8 00pm.

to dream the possible dream.

okay so we kinda sort almost missed the bus again. but we did make it. i ran out of the house with still one more poptart on the table...

at school before classes, i was talking to my history teacher. we continued, for a moment, the conversation that we had the day before, about the kid with "hair"..
after first period, i remembered that we had the "student showcase" which is when teacher's pick some exemplary work from their students and stick all of it in a room for parents and other official people to see. i was unsure if me and landon had to actually go and present the powerpoint that was picked. so we headed to mrs. spooner's room to ask. turned out that she did want us to go, and asked us to come to her class that period so we could transfer the presentation to the laptop where it was going to be shown at. i got kim's planner (also a hallway pass) since i lost mine a while ago in my sixth period math class. we went got the file, fixed the mistakes in formatting (which took the entire period) and headed back in time for the classes to be dismissed. but oh joy i forgot kim's planner in the greyhound room. landon gave me the flash drive to give back to spooner and he went back to get the planner. at 11 45am during sixth period, we had to actually go to the showcase. i personally thought the "Presidential Election '08" powerpoint was pretty awesome. but through a horrible turn of events.. we were not able to get the sound for it. which definitely was more than half the coolest of it all. i would have had a replacement on my flash drive which is always on my keys.. but! of course the one day that i forget them.. i actually need to use the drive attached. me and landon just watched people fight with robots and made paper airplanes the entire time though.

and finally when i got home! i was expecting kim to come over from 4 30pm to 6 00pm. because she wanted help on her tsa digital imaging technology event. my help consisted of me.. looking at hot people in the alloy magazine, proposing to kim, laying on the ground laughing, getting into my parent car, and pitching ideas.

all the homework we had was the deathly math, and easy chemistry. but i still have not worked on my plane because of my bad time skills. i was going to work on it from 11 to 12. but i am talking to people and blogging. i will work on it right now!

fight! with more than just me.

okay so for today, a short day deserves a short description.

after school, i fell a sleep. dang, that too. i really wanted time to work on my plane. plus some interesting things went on and about today in school. but are a bit extraneous. my history teacher made some interesting comments on a certain someone with hair... and my bus driver dropped me off half and hour late because she had lost her wedding ring. eventually a good ending came out of it and she found it. she was crying the whole way through.

--
i am fighting. am i fighting the good fight? i'd like to hope so. i fight battles that i do not pick, as well as ones that are by my choice. most fight in the same battles against the same enemies but.. on a different battle field. some trigger words to the battles i fight are listed as such (trigger words and not actual words) is so that i maybe directly type them out without too much fear. i fight with and against time, blood, and the heart.

hidden loves and closing doors.

as to explain the missing post yesterday.. i took a nap after school because i was honestly dead tired from getting no sleep the week before. after i woke up for dinner and most of my time after that was taken up by homework. important news though. demonoid is back up! it is a private tracker that went offline for quite sometime. (a tracker for bittorrent) there is a story behind my hardships to get an account to demonoid and i shall decide later if it is a story for now. or later.

today, was the first time i was ever late for the bus. so that i do not go over each detail, i will make this short. we usually leave the house from 5 35am to 5 37am. this time we were a little be more relaxed of the timing.. and while driving to the bus stop, we see it drive out an adjacent street. darn. we go for a wild goose chase around the brain like roads of the neighborhood to beat them to the next stop. oh joy! good thing that me and eilene totally mixed up roads and directions that we missed the next few too. (we did not directly follow the bus instead tried to jump ahead a stop or two) eventually we end up being driven to school by our mom. i was not late, but i also would not like to repeat this tomorrow.

aside from that bit above. the rest of the school day was uneventful for the most part. at home, eilene was driven by our mum to her work so that eilene could get some tsa work done about technology careers. so i was home alone for an okay amount of time. i opened all the windows in the house to let the nice breeze inside. eventually it did get cold. (sorry billy, 73 degrees) i spent some time getting on to eilene's computer for a favor from her, then defragmenting the entire drive and cleaning the crap files up. (with defraggler and ccleaner)

time to ramble? maybe, let's see how far this goes.
at night. i have a certain weakness. once my mind falls into a lulled sort of state, i will blurt out most anything. depending on the level of sleepiness. do and do not try to use this on me. this blog is public and as such goes to people that i could have not totally intended to tell any information to.

hmm.. seems like i did write. but in a hidden message. don't bother looking for this one. it makes little sense when read over.

control plus copy, control plus paste.

this morning totally forgot that i had tsa fund raising so when i woke up to my alarm i thought to myself that i had more time since it is the weekend. i eventually got up.. and rushed a shower, breakfast, brush teeth, and run out after going down a mental list of things to make sure i did not forget anything. at first, while fund raising out side of walmart it was really hot in the sun. but as the day went on it was good. the shift was from 9 00am to 3 00pm with a 11 30am to 12 30pm break. during the break i shared a combo at blimpie with eilene and that is when kim's shift started. (me and eilene took both shifts sunday, kim took both afternoon shifts on saturday and sunday) some interesting people walk around there..

from here on out.. change this to nick's point of view.
I called V up and asked him if he i could come over his house after he was done fund raising for TSA. He said yes, and off i was to the Wal-Mart on US1. I got there and V, Eilene, and Kim were just talking and such, and then V told me he wanted a drink from the vending machine, so i went over to see if i could work some magic....or something. I just started hitting the buttons on all of the machines, and suddenly one popped out a soda! It was amazing and weird at the same time.

Then we went to V's house and we went outside and caught some frogs, and then V suggested we go for a bike ride when i told him i was getting antsy, so we did. Only,..he biked and i walked. It was a pretty good run, including the end in which i tried to beat him home (i lost miserably). Then we tried some handstands, and V gave me a quick tour of how he performed his midnight escapade a few nights ago.

Afterwards, we ate some dinner. I always like eating at V's house, cause his mom always cooks really good food, which i usually never eat at home. Afterwards we went to his room, listened to some music on the Mplayer, watched some videos, and then went outside to admire the b-e-a-utiful day it was. V challenged me to a paper airplane contest, and of course i won with my classic jet plane configuration to his harrier design. Then we got reeeeaally bored and just started rolling a ball back and forth down the hall. But we got an idea, and tied a hoola hoop to a light so it hung just above the ground, and put some empty bottles at the end of the hallway, and we tried to do some bowling. Unfortunately, thats exactly when my mom showed up.



p.s. i just edited nick's winning plane and made it about three times better. teamwork man, teamwork.

p.p.s. i am listen to the red sox, yankee game on the online radio.. which now also mean i have a way to listen in on any red sox game i want! i could watch the game on tv.. but i took the tv out of my room and put it in the guest room for halo 2, and the old place for it is all covered with stuff.

p.p.p.s. i didn't work on my plane today..

--EDIT
when i first built my practice plane (now destroyed) i took off the propeller and let it glide. reallly slowly.

slight pang of guilt.

so what might be my longest absence yet. (have not actually checked yet.) return without great cause or reason. but for the simple fact of continuing. i tend not to remember my days as i go along so i fear that i can not recall the days since my last passing. in a more general sense though, since wednesday or at least i think so.. it was been a miserable week. (might be before or after) every person i have personally asked has so far given me the same answer. that i was right and this week stood out a bit more and just really sucked. billy especially.

some more major occurrences or events that did take place over the missing week would be.. my first testing of my practice plane, falling asleep during math class, my being a victim to matchmaking, total sleep deprivation, and that might be it. if anyone has anything to add do tell. i am practically falling asleep as i write this (1 47am).

today in a quick run is.. woke up early. unpacked final model airplane, worked on that when kim came over, and watched lord of the rings: the fellowship of the ring, and two towers.

ugh there it is again.. that need for sleep. i will need. i am dong a double shift canning in front of walmart.

almost done!

when i came home from school today, i was dead tired. even on the bus i was totally knocked-out. fell asleep from three o' clock to past six.

now there are probably some important things i wanted to mention.. but they have totally left my mind. everything except my music playing on winamp, the tools in my hands, and the tsa practice competition airplane coming to life.. totally left my head. i just finished building it. and only.. two weeks before the actual states competition. since i am at a lost for words.. and quite frankly my brain is not working right now. i give you pictures!






p.s. i am a big let down right now, i should have completed the practice plane ages ago. but i would have been an even bigger let down to myself if i did not finish it before the next tsa meeting. which i have unskillfully avoided. tengo felicidad.

p.p.s. posting time. (3 45am-4 01am)

p.p.p.s this huge scab is coming off my knee from when i fell to the ground while on my bike.

running low.

the reason for missing yesterday's post was i was up working late on my tsa plane. and billy with chemistry. which i guess i did not do what i hoped, details in billy's blog.

today, woke up pretty well considering i had two and a half to three hours of sleep. but i was moving quite slow though. we get out of the house nearly on time. but we ended up sitting at the bus stop for twenty minutes later than usual. an accident on the road held my bus back for a bit. i got in school in time enough to sit down and talk for a minute before the bell rang. though i do not remember if it was already the late bell or not.. since because of my lack of sleep again (1 18am) i might be modifying my memory. now for something that i do not usually do. a full school day summery.

spanish class we wrote about what we did during vacation. i was eventually called on.. but my sentences although making total sense grammar wise, i had trouble remembering anything that occurred over the break. so one sentence im at the end of the vacation then im back talking about my friends' houses.
history class kinda dulled the mood a bit since it was just more writing as we do every day. but it was less of the normal note taking and instead we wrote ourselves a test review while he read off the test. without direct answers.
at my drama class, we had a small presentation on careers in theatre. and due on friday is a tiny research project.
in chemistry class it was wicked hot which made doing random extraneous work even worse. i would have hoped to get back started on things since chemistry is interesting when not so forced upon the mind.
in english class we finished the movie "breaking away" which i would recommend to watch. some shakespeare pages were handed out, which we will be eventually be tested on.
the algebra class was the most boring of them all. sadly i like math as well as chemistry but those classes were huge drags today. imaginary numbers were a bit more boring than the other topics because it had easy notes but going so slowly. i nearly fell asleep in class while writing.
seventh period music tech class, we are putting on another show, which is not written by us with random and odd music forced into it so i would recommend that whom ever can, go see it but.. it is during school and for sixth graders only. that is bull and i hope that is changed.

i got home around 3 00pm and planned to start my homework then. but didnt until 5 00pm. i shall shoot for a better time tomorrow. also i finished my english project and will be turning it in, in a few hours time.

p.s. i am using firefox 3 beta 5!!

upsides and incentives.

sleep last night did not come till much later, as i was working on my english till somewheres about 4 00am. i woke up early enough to see my parents and eilene leave the house but i left asleep until the doorbell rang of my parents' return. then i ate and took a shower.

i wish i could walk around places, but in port saint lucie you can not. im almost set up to get started to get my permit.. if anyone could list the steps... that would be nice. i have most of it known.. but don't want to miss anything.

my second part of my english project (first part in previous post.)


p.s. i found a way to take any song online.. and make it use the facebook player. which is really sexy looking compared to the normal quicktime player.

...or so i thought.

today no actual post. just project i am working on.. and took up all my time. today i did goto my friend anna's house for her birthday. made a text rose for her card. and watched "shoot 'em up" or something. then played apples to apples, then played dance dance revolution.

it is half of what the project is. the other half is "optimist." i need to use my silhouette to depict two sides of me.

beats of an angel.

today i woke up a bit late. and as such i did not go biking today. eventually i ended up in the guest room and falling asleep for a few hours after talking with eilene. after i woke up i went online.. and stumbled upon an instant messanger program called "digsby." it is very good so far. but since it is in its beta still im giving it some slack. you can consolidate multiple IM accounts, email services, and facebook and myspace. and as anna put it.. good for her because she is lazy. also today.. my mom finally got some corn starch for me and i made some "oobleck." it is a non-newtonian fluid, made from one part water, two parts cornstarch. when you move your fingers in it slowly it fills like a ooze. but if you strike it with your fist then it acts like a solid and feels like one too. punching into a bowl of corn starch and water was never more fun.

i found my old blog again. it is something definately to look back on.
and something totally unrelated.. my heart beat.



my heart actually skips a beat.

p.s. anna nguyen is currently the first and only person to find the hidden message in the post: "hidden messages and prom dresses."

last stop... will never come.

here we go into story mode!:

with the alarm ready for 6 o' clock in the morning.. virak _thought_ all would go well. sleeping at 10 00pm? this would have been the earliest of all his previous attempts. he even took the best shower he'd had in ages. but there was one fatal mistake made. he did not want to goto sleep. for the next two hours up until the clock struck midnight.. virak lay awake on his bed.. thoughts drifting among themselves, in and out and about his brain. "what if i can't finish it?, what if she doesnt like me back?, when is that project due?, am i gaining weight?, what if something went wrong?, am i strong enough?!, or what if i spend my time wasting away?!, or even life itself has lost meaning!!" he would have to soon silence these thoughts soon or he would never lay at rest. the first remedy on the list.. music. song after song would calm him down.. force the others out of his mind. but this turned to the worse. now occupying his mind.. useless music videos! directed and invented by yours truly! every song gained a new video and each song did the same to keep him from his lulls. the music was left behind as he picked up his blanket and moved to the guest room. "oh yes, this room is comfy.. maybe sleep will come to me here," he thought to himself. wrong again. he twisted and turned in bed trying to finally lay in a deep slumber. finally all was well.. and the day's events had finally left his mind. but would he wake up the next day? yes. but one hour too late.

/end of story mode!

i got up at 6 50am instead of at six like i planned.. but me and eilene went biking anyways and it was good. right before we headed home (in fact this is one of the reasons for heading home) i got a weee bit bored and started to go in circles on the road. very small circles, so small they required me you get low to the ground as i rode. kinda like those people that race in tracks on motorcycles. then something (probably sand) caught under the wheels and i hit the ground. it was a small drop the disorientation caused me to want to puke on the ground when i got up. i didn't and we headed home. the results are a small scrape on my elbow and knee.

today i watched.. the commentary to disturbia (very good), laundry (took a while.. kinda not done folding yet), parts of spanish homework (so long, under estimated it), and a wee bit of halo with eilene.

i did not get to work on my tsa practice plane today. (noooooooo. not good.)
good night, i hope to be more productive tomorrow. (12 50am)

p.s. anyone find the hidden message in my post titled "hidden messages and prom dresses" ?

bed.

sleeping early for at least once this vacation.

i can do handstands, with witnesses.

hidden messages and prom dresses.

this day had another late start. woke up around 1 00pm ish. and its even 1 31am now. eventually i ate lunch two hours later and got on the computer for a bit. i did not use the xbox today, mostly because i felt a little guilty that i was using it a lot lately.
online i was talking to a few people which included.. jenn! we finally found sometime to talk to each other. on her side she was helping one of her friend's pick out prom dresses. naturally i got picked up in the fray and jenn picked out a dresses for me. (sent the pictures over google talk.) and i toally think that this one suit me.. don't you think?

anyways.. it was good to talk to her after a while. also i finished up (got to most recent chapter) of a few mangas that i am reading. which are.. negima, pastel, and one piece. they all sure did take many hours and dollars from me..



and.. good night. (1 49am)

water, water everywhere.

today i went to the hospital to visit family. he is doing better than from what my mom told me a few days ago. i will not go into detail.

woke up earlier than normal at 7 00am and did not get home till around 6 00pm from what i can remember. played a bit more of project gotham. and then.. went online.

i hate that i nearly had the chance to talk to jenn again. she even sent me a voicemail. but "gah!" to me for missing it. i checked my facebook and email before signing on to aim (google talk was already on) and talking to a bunch of people. eventually it dwindled down to just billy and rachael. and me and billy played a round of poker before he had to goto sleep for school tomorrow. and as of now it is just me and rachael talking about whatever comes up. then eventually it will be just me and dreamland.

before i played a round of poker, i could hear thunder outside. so i asked rachael if she wanted to head outside because she said that she felt guilty being on the computer during spring break. (which i was also feeling a bit of that guilt.) then this conversation took place.

me: if you go outside then..
me: i will too
me: :D
rachael: to do .. what exactly?
me: hmm.. i havent arrived at that answer yet..
me: but i fear that reasons will hold me back.
rachael: ah
rachael: okay lets do it
rachael: ready set go
me: are you heading out now?
rachael (11:37:52 PM): yes i am

i turned on the shower, to hide my noise of going outside. then because my room is connected to the bathroom which is connected to the guest room, i locked everything except my room. the house is alarmed with an alarm on the doors and windows of my house. so if i went through the front door it would make a "beep beep" noise. miraculously one of the few windows that does not have the alarm on it is also the only window without a screen on it. so with the shower on.. the doors locked and my mind set on doing nothing outside at 11 37pm at night.. i opened the windows and went out. sadly it was not raining when i went out.. but i did go to the front lawn just to sit out and about for a little while. above the guest room window is a motion sensor light outside. so when i left the window.. it freaked me out a little bit. my activities consisted of laying down on my back looking up at the stars/ at the lightning lit sky. after a few minutes i forgot to shut the window i left out of.. and i ran back to make sure no bugs would get inside. after i got back to the grass in the front.. i sat pretzel shaped for a few more minutes and had the sudden urge to do some handstands. i do not think i did very well with those or the kart wheels but it was fun to just go outside and be just a little bit more free in grass. eventually came back inside at 11 51pm.

adieu. (2 08am)

the skill of skipping.

so yesterday i did not get around to posting because i was stuck on the xbox till many hours into the night. and when i was finished i was dead tired.

thursday
i dont remember when i woke up.. but around 2 00pm is when i started to get ready for tyler's birthday party. then i played around with xmen legends 2: rise of apocalypse. which i finished today by the way.. being the first full day of my spring break and all, i was eager to goto tyler's house but no so eager to leave at such an earlier time. (it was from 4 30 to 9 00 so i guess it was more of the total time then ending time) nick's mom drove nick and me to tyler's house and on the way there we messed around with the rubix cube. i was a little unprepared before the trip over there though. when nick got at my house i didnt know whether or not to bring my swimming trunks. kim was bringing her's and so was nick.. i got that and a belt and then we were on our way. (not chronological order.. just as everything comes to mind) the present i got tyler was rat race and a big hovercraft balloon pizza. plus an extra hadtosay.com message.
when we got there.. i met tyler's sister and husband plus their kids. and played a game called four square. it was a game on g.a.s way back when. but i didnt even remember anything. i eventually ended up in the pool. all by my lonesome at first too. everyone else thought it was cold. and nick thought it was freezing cold. and it was cold. all pools are like that when you first hop in. since i was longest in.. i got use to the temperature fastest too. when nick got in, he jumped in. and forced me underwater, it is just like him.. to make that entrance! but all was well as kim and alex arrived while i was in the pool and the activities that took place in the pool was.. torturing nick with water because of his inability to cope with temperature change, using kim as a shoulder mounted weapon, and some swimming about.
after we got changed into dry clothes, the family and friends joined together in singing a happy birthday to tyler. then some ice cream cake (one of God's gifts to man) and pizza (was there already, but i did not want to get out of pool to enjoy it) and the opening of gifts. the giant pizza hovercraft balloon was defiantly more trouble than intended. it took five ib sophomores and a bike pump to fill it up. by the end of it.. when it was moderately full, we did not even wait for it to be completely full to go and use it outside. we played around with it for a bit and went back inside. then everyone started to leave..

when i got home, i played on the xbox till i almost fell asleep playing it. and only just finished the game today too.

which brings me to my next topic. today.
mostly gaming and then some pizza, then more gaming, then digging out tapioca roots from the backyard, then getting ready for dinner and dinner itself, and then sam's club where i looked at some stuff and eventually got a book that i have been wanting for about a year-ish now, but did not find a strong want or need for it. the dangerous book for boys. lots of random info. how to built a paper airplane (properly), famous battles, knots, types of fish, how to play poker, info on fifty states, and lots more. then when i got home beat xmen legends 2: rise of apocalypse.

adieu. (2 43am)

sleep! i choose you!

another post that lacks in content. but now with included pictures!
yay....
spring break!
tyler's party tomorrow!
tsa!
life!
lolcat!

pictures will not make sense unless you went to recommended sites a few posts ago.
hazzah for ceiling cat!

choices. the path less traveled by.

tis 2 41am.

good night.

dam up the flood, and start anew.

today in school, was my first time wearing shorts this year. i did also wear shorts once last year, but now that pearline helped me actually pick out some clothes (shorts and jeans) i am going to wear those now. so hopefully it will be on a week rotation when i will wear my shorts.

surprisingly i got a lot of negative feedback from people. i guess it is just not normal to see me in that sort of attire. oh well.. dealing with it is a good idea.

for after school stuff, there is a chemistry test tomorrow, along with english text-marking and essay due wednesday. the text-marking is officially done now though.. i also forgot about the congressional award meeting after school today. darn, i wanted to get some info for it, and i still want to register.

now i am getting ultra sleepy as of now. so ill wrap this up with a short list.
got home, went on computer, took shower, played x-men legends two for xbox, then made rice and went back online to eventually start the homework (text-marking).

also for those that have time on their hands.. or like my taste in comedy.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/ and only after reading though a lot of these.. should/could you go to.. http://www.lolcatbible.com/ i love genesis 1, pearline should do a voice recording of how she says all of it.

then after that.. now you can look at this picture!
oh wait.. i am too lazy right now.. sleep time. check back tomorrow.

back.. from outa space!

this post is short because it is made at 1 42am after studying for some english.
doing some chem homework.
catching up with friends.
using gmail, facebook, deviantart, lifehacker, and google.

this morning pearline left around 7 41am. it didnt hit me until about an hour ago how sad i was to have her gone again. the moment was getting a cup of pepsi to keep me awake and on the way to the kitchen walking past the guest room where she said, and seeing it empty.

so many things to type, and so slow of a typing speed. as of right now. im probably typing at a speed close to 40 wpm. not cool man.. id rather be typing at least 70 average.

adieu.

wait.. another overview.

it's past the time of no return. i am posting after 12 00am again so i need to quicken this up.

went to tsa today, actually worked on my practice plane. (before final one)
havent read my email, facebook, or friends' blog in ages. need to separate some good ol' time for that.
saw wallace and gromit: curse of the wererabbit with pearline. now i want to see meet joe black (no connection between movies)
tomorrow directly after school i am going to be rushing to go fund raise at a mets game again. i wish my time with my sister wasnt spent so much.. without my sister. curse my horrible time organization skills.

soooo..

i am still in process of reading blogs, and i havent read any of today's post as of now. i need to find time to do that. instead of recapping what i had down in the other post.. ill only talk of today's events.

waking up was a hassle since i was a little low on sleep, but i did get up as a normal day would show. today when i got to school, i headed to where i usually stay in the morning which is.. next to kim, tyler, nick, and when he comes in.. alex. the rag-tag group of friends that have many more things in common than a list could show. i want to have a picture of the five of us, and that might be possible next week when we celebrate tyler's birthday. i havent exactly come up with an exact idea of what i want to give tyler. it has been thought of already and it's going to be homemade. then after morning, i went into my first period spanish class. i was a little bit behind because we had not had an actual spanish class for a good week or so. getting back into that mind was difficult and i do not think i fully reached it until i finished my spanish homework only moments ago.

my history essay project was turned in second period, and after a brief mentioning of what we should have covered.. i felt like i fell short in too many areas. not good, history is not doing bad.. but i might have a 'b' or borderline 'a' without the essay. and with it.. i do not even want to suppose. my third period has once again reclined into its dull lull of an hour. i tend to enjoy more of my academic classes now, over drama. forth period chemistry has now officially gone down a notch on the scale. we have moved seats that are assigned for the rest of the year. usually i sit next to nick and that helps out socially and academically too. but now i am in a table of people id rather not sit with. fifth period english is always eventful, in that the people and teacher actually have constructive (for the most part) interaction. also my english class is taught differently than the other classes, which i hope is to my advantage. then math and music tech followed the day.

when i got home, pearline was sleeping and i did also eventually fall asleep until somewhere in the ball park of.. 6 00pm. dinner soon followed with a viewing of a few dance crews performing for a show. (go JabbaWockeeZ)

homework then jalapeno poppers from pearline and now sleep.

more filler.

checking blogs.. just had to say though... pearline is a wicked cool sister... yeah!

and i was pitched today.. because it's saint patrick's day! even when i didnt know that i was getting pinched..

placeholder

this is not a actual post.. but something so that i do not forget what to write later.

homework
brazee essay
english planning
math textbook

blog
friday-manga, lost day(cant remember anything)
sat-wake up at 9 but not till 10, fund raising at walmart. then pearline came during fund raising. kim and frank came. kim stay till 9. played halo with kim and eilene then we had kebobs pearline wake up. fire outside. then mortal kombat. read pastel till 3 33am
sun-fund raising again. went to sears, then mall, then game stop where pearline got me xbox games, gamestop card w/ magizine substription and a controller for christmas/birthday. got home.. showed daddy pearline's new watch, ate dinner. played halo, new controller doesnt work. play racing game. then mommy and daddy play racing game. fun to watch... play xmen. then laundry. then little of homework. and blog reminder.

notes
chap66 pastel
upload pictures
jetblue skymiles signup
read blogs of friends
homework

minute details.

so for the first post that i did miss. i had a list of things that i wanted to list out and talk about. but i got pissed and fell alseep before getting to the blog post. the next day i was drowsy and laying on my bed. i computer was there and i just didnt think that the post that day was worth it. i was planning to write in it.. just a little paragraph but never got to do that. and now it is thursday and the days of this week have gone by too slowly. perhaps a good poetic line would fit well that would describe how i feel about wasting time and the guilt i get from actually doing the wasting. but maybe an explaination of the intended line will suffice?

at this point i might seem a bit crazy in my thoughts and words. i accidentally used the undo function in this blogger post. by coincidence it also does not allow me to use the redo function. and with the small little things everywhere that have come up and stopped me from blogging from a few minutes to a day or two, i am begining to think that something does not want me to blog. but here i am, blogging away. my entire paragraph on tuesday was deleted by the above error and all that was mentioned was of my still unfinished homework (history essay, english work). actually now that i think of it.. that is all i wrote of that day. at fifth period i was shown something that i do want to be enthusiastic about. the congressional award. i will not go through was it requires and the things i are testing my nerves about it. but what i will say.. is that is it an extra chance for me to get out of florida for my college. my logic goes as follows: if i get a metal from congress.. other schools will want me. my logic also falls short because if other colleges want me.. then the ones that i am getting all this support from florida to go to.. will also be more appealing to the side of expenses. on tuesday i also wanted to talk about the story that i am planning to write with a few of my friends the group of people that we have deemed as "cinco de amigos" ! i want some progression going on if everyone says it is a go. alex is hard to get a hold of online. that really sucks. after school i went biking and roller blading. roller blading on a bumpy surface will kill your feet. it sure as heck did mine. i could only roller blade on one street in the area. eventually i got tired and went home. over the past days i have also been reading manga online. i finished dears, and working on pastel.

this day today will go unnoticed by many because at the moment my brain refuses to give me access to these memories. all i remember is going outside to take a few more pictures. im slowing running out of subjects. ill have to upload those later. also among the days i was missing.. i played chess with billy. not a good game for me. and the second time we played.. it was a speed round.. and i was around two seconds away from clicking the final move... but i lost. it was so close to the timer that at the end of the game billy even thought that i won.

i remember the last time that i mentioned a girlfriend possiblity.. that my older sister pearline made a funny protective comment on it. and while talking to anna.. i came up with.. something that i hope makes more sense than the poo above here. i had asked her.. about me getting a girlfriend and how i do or did like someone but they were more or less emotionally taken. and while cleverly leading me.. i said.. that even if i want it. i wont get it unless i take a step foward. but that i am taking too many steps forward right now with other things. and if i do that, take too many steps that is.. then i'll trip and fall. so there is not anyone right now. but i'll just go with the flow for now.. and when i do get solid footing then i'll think about it.

pearline is coming on saterday!
from the fifthteenth to the twenty-third. oh man, i wish i was not in school or busy at all. i have tsa stuff to do while on my free time with her here. which makes me sad.

all the important things.

just to go over today's events.. this morning we cut it really close to getting to the bus stop. but so far havent missed a day. and at school for second period i took a history quiz that i didnt feel so happy about.. then to fourth period where we did a lab with acids and bases/ color indications. all the way to sixth period where i got my test back. i missed one or two and got a bit taken off for some of the questions but when is it all said and done.. i got a 119. oh yes. no typo. now the math for that doesnt workout so well.. originally i got a 95. plus ten points from a paper thing that my math teacher gave me for my birthday. and plus another nine points to everyone because of some of the confusing questions. and i should have gotten a 114. but oh well.

i was eagar to sleep when i got home because last night i also didnt sleep till 2 00am. bad habits that need to die off...
no homework this week but a history essay project and english text marking till chapter ten all due friday. and the reason being.. is fcat stuff. this year i take it for math and reading. kinda like the mcas but for florida.

also today i made a new blog site.. but its subject is very different than this one. the first post is only for me to pitch ideas to the intended persons. take a look at it and tell me what you think.
http://cincodeamigos.blogspot.com

p.s. the post title does not describe the post.. but something else. and i probably wont even remember what im talking about tomorrow. but it is important to my mindset.

vavoom.. rooom....scrreeecch, areeeee... hurrrr. full circle.

the alarm is set for 8 00am. i stayed up doing various things until close to 2 00am and yet the clock still didnt change yet. so the mystery of when the clock on my phone changes is not unlike that of santa! no matter how hard you try.. youll never see him.. unless you're cool like me and know him personally. the reason it was originally set for 8 00am was because today i had a mets game concession stand to work at for tsa. i went over to eilene's room to wake her up.. and i thought i did.. but an hour later.. my mom finds me and eilene still sleeping.. now i know i fell asleep.. but i thought at least eilene had enough sleep to at least wake up.. but waking up at nine when you need to go somewhere at 10.. isnt such a good idea. we did get there maybe a few minutes early though.

set up the places, we had two of then to work behind the counter, we preparing all the food, cleaning up the stations with various activities which i wont discredit any by not mentioning any at all.. and all geting into the dress code.. navy blue shirt and some good ol' pants. i wish someone had a camera..

everthing got started at eleven. my job consisted of.. knowing where everingthing was.. and how to get to it.. and getting it. i got free drinks all day, which was good.. realllly good. i love iced tea. and mountain dew. ohhhh! and one free hotdog. plus a ten minute break. everytime someone put any amount of money into the donation jars for tsa.. everyone on that side cheered! i can honestly say that i cheered my lungs out.. but put them back in.. for the prospet of more free soda. the cleaning up process wasnt so bad either, i mopped up the floor while kim squeegeed it. at the end of it all.. we got free fries too. i covered mine with cheese from the nacho machine. also a few minutes after that.. we find out that they were going to throw out all the extra hotdogs and burgers. but we thankfully took that off their hands. i had a few more hotdogs.. said bye to everyone, and left to go home.

i slept a few hours.. waking up to eilene nudging at me saying that kim is on the phone. i cant exactly remember how long the conversation was.. probably only a few minutes but i could list off the topics that we talked about.. so that proof i was mostly dead, and not all dead. the next three activities of the days were... history essay, laundry, and dishes. i never got around to doing the dishes.. which would have sucked because i lost a bit of skin on my thumb and the water would have stung. the laundry is in the dryer.. and another load is unfolded in my basket. however.. the essay is finished and ready to kick butt.

quixotic realist.

i woke up around twelve today intending to work all day. i have two history essays to write along with english work. sunday is usually homework day.. but i have mets stadium fund raising to do. in the morning i ate lunch and had a jump start on my online activities. no one was home because they were dropping eilene off at the manatee center. mostly bored.. i did try the brain game another time.. and failed quite horribly. then when my parents did come home, it was short and after a bit they left again to pick her back up. they came home and i took a shower..

the above passage is quite the dull one. afterwards though i when outside and the following pictures are from then..

pacman, anvils, and escape plans.

the day itself was not short. in fact, it is of something worth mentioning. but my brain capaticy at this point is quite lacking.

the biggest part of the day is when people came over to work on the tsa project. i might have to elebrate tomorrow when i can remember what happened.

i was planing to sleep sooner rather than later. but i sent an instant message to rachael and she just is a good motivator to stay awake. but i can no longer think straight, keep my mouth shut, eyes open, and anything else pertaining to this relative topic. goood night..

a facaded mirage.

the t.g.i. thursdays performence went better than expected. i didnt miss a single cue either. thats a first...

at 3 20am this morning.. some how.. and as of now i still dont know why.. but i woke eilene up. came to her room.. and told her to clean up.. her school stuff was still on her desk, computer on, and folder on her bed. and the funny thing is.. unlike my other hysterical sleeping moments and bits.. i was fully awake when i did this. i just cant remember why i did.. so eilene told me that she was completely weird today because of the lack of uninterrupted sleep.

in drama yesterday.. me and my group performed the soap opera we worked on for a few days. it was wicked awesome. and today.. everyone else went. wicked funny stuff.

so the pictures go..
shadow hand.
eilene feet.
tsa-kim, mr. norman, kyle.
snail.
snail.
parents.
feet.















--EDIT
i saw hail for the first time today!!

a trickle of z's.

today is a good day for sleep. billy and i are sleeping a bit earlier than usual and rachael is too. nick hopefully would have fallen asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

the ever applicable, versitile shiny object.

with the arrival of a many things that just tick you off. there is usually the one that could put you over the edge, or back on safe ground. i am writing this blog post at 1 06am on the behalf of those who do read my blog. a fair warning for the things to come ahead.. i am listening to mood inducing music right now.. and have no planned topics or structure to this post. the result is anything from a short post ending now. or a long ranting post to everything in between. something that i did want to mention before going on an unstoppable force of typos and sentance fragments and run-ons.. is a wish of a happy birthday to part one of five in the cinco de amigos. tyler allendar.

we met last year.. and please excuse any faulty memories.. i have been known to modify them. spanish class in freshman year was an over all class where more than the respective subject was taught. to my right sat kim que. to my left sat tyler. we were asked to find a group of people to work with on a project and at the time.. my lucky self just moved to a new state and did not know of anyone. in all of the other classes that day so far.. each one had asked of a similar group "learn more about each other" kind of activity. those were less than agreeable to what i was hoping for. but as i looked around for something new to happen my eyes met the two people sitting next to me. one at a time i saw some signals being thrown around between the two people with me right in the middle. kim was the first to speak. i agreed to her question with a yes and from that point on.. we were a rag tag group of friends in the making.

with old myspace comments and saved im conversations as my witness, the first month of my first florida school year went mostly without a hitch. as time went on. i changed and evolved with the slightest of differences. at this time i was still determined to make my relationship with anna work out. long distance in high school just did not work out for me. but before i realized that, i never had a reason to see otherwise. we talked every day, and not with instant messages or any sort of mail. but real talking. to hear the voice of someone you trust so deeply as that is something i can honestly say kept me from going day to day without a smile on my face and hope in my heart. dispite what i wanted to happen.. something i was warned of eventually came to be, we grew apart. her high school life, was just that. her life. and i wasnt apart of it. our conversations grew shorter and shorter and with less meaning in the entire conversation than a single word in our past discussions. for what seemed like ages, i could only see her come online and hope to God that something would carry on. thoughts would drift and i would wonder what fueled our past talks. i would spend hours on my bedroom floor, pitch black with my microphone at hand and google talk running only a foot away. why werent we like this any more? what happened? i can also say quite honestly that i did find out. on december 16, 2006, she broke up with me. the conversation following the break up is something i was laughing about and at her request iss till left unheard of. i was happier that day, minutes after than a week before because of what was realized. the fact that we were in a offical relationship caused the tension between us. i lost my first and only girlfriend (so far) that day.. but gained a renewed friendship which still holds strong to this very day.

the song i am currently listenign to a few of you may know. panchelbel's canon in d. i was first shown this song a time after i saw the movie "my sassy girl" an amazing korean film where the song was redone and used in. at first it was filed among the ranks but a day not unlike this one (which is quite of the norm) i sat down at my computer, turned the volume up, shut off my moniter and just listened to the song in the pitch black. the mp3 that i have is only five minutes and twenty two seconds long. the time it took to finish the song felt like my lifetime. happy memories of the life that has already been lived lingered in my mind. i have never felt more at peave or safe that in the moment where i am so lost in the music that i even forgot where i was or the amount of time going past.

in a few hours (1 51am) a day just like today, a normal day, will start. i will wake up, go to school, finish periods one to seven, practice the lighting for the upcoming show on thursday, come home, eventually do my homework, eat dinner, normal online activities, not forget to post up pictures for that day's post, blog of the days events and sleep. the only thing i ever look forward to in a normal day is.. the people. my family that i help wake up, or that help me wake up. students that i see on my way to school. my friends in periods one to seven. the classmates and teachers i work with after school. my dad that drives me home. my mom that cooks food everyday for me. the friends and family i talk to online. my readers that enjoy my blog. and the people that help me go to sleep at night. (homework excluded, no one likes homework)

the previous section was to let everyone know, that no matter how numerous the times i do or say something. or no matter how little i do or say anything.. that.. you are important. (anyone up for more corn..-iness) also it was to complete my future section of this blog post. each paragraph or section in part of the master layout of.. introduction, past, present, future, conclusion. see i can say something with meaning once in a while. even if it is uninteresting and without pictures sometimes.

p.s. www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AXPnH0C9UA funny stuff that eilene sent me.
i also have the mp3 if anyone wants it.. its wicked tiny and converted from youtube .flv video to .mp3 file using zamzar.
p.p.s. (2 08am) yeah my brain is going to kill me tomorrow.. literary.. and after its done beating me in the face for staying up this long.. and making a post for an hour.. it will tell me to stop listening to such girly music. (see playlist in previous post)

déjà vécu.

there is a strong desire to put the last four years of my life on repeat a couple times. just to see the possibilities. the past few days though have seemed to been put on repeat already.

on a short notice, i am going to be staying after school wednesday and thursday for a show my school is putting on. "t.g.i thursdays" i am doing the lighting again or maybe sound board.. either way this show should be easy. its free and we havent been working too much on it. on wednesday i usually stay after for literary club.. hmmm.. a dilemma. but i know i am going to tsa that day. oh and its march 6th, a thursday.. hence the name.

when i got home today. eilene was still at beta club and i spent my time cleaning up the laptop and the usual online activities which will now be listed again.. deviantart, facebook, gmail, lifehacker, and people's blogs. and eventually through some chain of events i was asleep and eilene was having a hard time to wake me up. i think kim was on the phone.. then after dinner did some more work on the laptop, the brain game.. and some work on my own computer.

today was mostly boring.. as you can see with all the lists. sorry again for the lack of pictures but it is getting late and i did waste more time today.. i found out that i didnt have any homework..

cut short.

the majority of my blog post titles aren't ever directly related to the day's events. and usually own myself will understand how it does relate. also i havent ever explained the titles. just to let that out in the open, ill explain this one. of all the goals ive set for myself or of all the things im trying to reach for. they have been cut short. in the short term.. today i didnt start working until only a few hours ago.. and played around wasting time up until that point. long term.. i had my sights set on a new england college, and with all the benefits i might get if i stay in florida.. great colleges and universities will cost about the same as billy is paying for malden catholic. and for the kinda short term maybe long term.. ive been trying to keep my eyes open for girlfriend. ahahaha...

i woke up at 8 30ish and havent a clue when i got up.. but didnt get on the computer until 12. which was after i ate and washed up a bit. then did my laundry, cleaned up room a bit, played that facebook brain game.. almost beat anna's score.. then kim beats everyone's score.. except for lisa. that alien girl... while im still just nerd level.. and messed around with the laptop while on damn small linux.

a little bit more important than part of the day's events.. is through ib i wanna be able to say i have a definitive group of people around with me. kim, tyler, nick, and alex.. are the people who im betting on will become a more tight-knit group of people. kim brought up that it all started in spanish class last year. so we were trying to come up with group names. and nick came up with "cinco de amigos" in chem class. i was working at the time so i kinda shooed the idea away.. but i guess subconsciously i liked it.. cause while on the phone with kim, i independently came up with that name.. not even realizing that nick had said it a day before.
now i wanna making shirts. mine will say.. (if we make 'em) top line is from billy.

'Tis the life we lead.

cinco de amigos! <-- in caps.

ive run out of things to say. and currently too lazy to get the pictures to upload so ill have to get on that tomorrow.

damn small linux.

right now i am running dsl or damn small linux. i have tried xubuntu, and it isnt as easy to use as dsl because it just takes too long to load up. and by the way this can be run from a flash drive.. but i havent figured that out yet. to make up for yesterday's post and still not bored you to death.. (if youve been okay so far.. then you should be fine) i decided to maybe add some pictures. but eilene stil has her camera.. and i dont know how to get the pictures from that using dslinux so ill have to wait.

my room is a complete mess. eventually it runs through cycles of clean to messy and back to clean. and messy again to start the cycle once over. laundry everywhere.. messy desk.. chess set on the floor.. no television.. oh my.

on the same trip as picking up eilene from the manatee center.. me and eilene went to jaycee park! it was the place that for school she did lab work at with her chemistry class. from the description it seemed like a cool place. but when we got there.. obviously it was filled with kids.. so instead to occupy our time we walked around on the beach. so many tiny snails. if i were to sit down and pick up all the snails i could without moving my bum, id probably get at least twenty. we have pictures of those..

then after the park.. since only a few minutes away.. we went straight to lincoln park academy for the night of the stars event i was working for. i was kinda early but people did start to come in eventually. everything went smoothly, except for a few slip-ups. having two people yell to one person about two different things to do.. is really confusing. all the while the whole auditorum is staring up at your mistake. my new job was basically play the dvds/presentations of the show.. and switch between the night of the stars screen and the dvd player screen as both were hooked up to the big projector in the auditorium. one of the videos though.. the speaker caught me off guard.. i put the video in at the right time.. but was told to stop it. and when i stopped it.. i switched back to the other screen. then i was told i should have already had the other screen up.. and i have to switch back and hit play on the dvd. so in the audience.. the only thing that was seen was a random crazy switching of pictures and videos. had some of the food after it was all over, which was good food.. just no drinks besides water. also i took one of the three minute dvd presentations of the person who won the teacher of the year award (biggest one there) mr. norman! who is my tsa advisor and a realllly cool person. the only other thing that i took home was only of those hollywood "markers" that people hold in front of a scene and say.. "scene one, take five"

at home. i wished jan another happy birthday (im glad she had a good day). also played about three hours worth of the facebook brain game. anna's score in the game.. kicked mine in the butt. then she told me to get higher than her boyfriend quoc's score which was 1890. which was higher than hers.. and i knew it would be either impossible or take a while. then as im trying my best to entertain myself while still trying to beat quoc. anna instant messages me saying she has a new high score. "1901" oh joy. after than.. i finally beat.. her old score.. no!!!

then i got damn small linux, put it on a cd, and then ran it.. and now here i am.. talking to billy online. and blogging in firefox. its really fast. crazy fast even.